The key to finding a partner who will love and except you as you are is to find a partner who appreciates who you are. Dating someone who is looking for qualities within you that you don’t possess is a quick way to end up alone and unhappy. Trying to pretend you have certain qualities that you don’t is also a one way ticket to unhappiness. However, dating someone who sees who you are, knows what your are capable of , and encourages you to be the best version of yourself.
I have been lucky to have two supportive relationships. However, it is my current relationship that has really taught me how important a cheerleader in your corner. My most favorite thing about my partner is how much he encourages and supports me in anything I think to do. Including things I choose to do that he might not agree with. He is always there to push me and encourage me in ways I have never experienced before. Through this relationship, I have learned just how valuable this trait is in a partner.
Your partner should enhance your life
In a healthy relationship your partner should contribute to your life. Your life cannot revolve around them or theirs around you. Rather, the two of you should add something to the other’s lives that enhances it. This could come in many forms. Perhaps your partner brings laughter, ease, support or understanding. For myself, growing up with parents that rarely told me they were proud of me, a partner who encourages me and believes in me is very important.
The trick is to find what you need in your life that a partner can provide and focus on potential suitors who can provide that. If you know you need laughter in your life, then a partner who is overly serious and rarely laughs may not work for you. Instead of bringing that laughter to enhance your life, you will be missing that thing you truly need to be happy. Without that, you and your partner will be missing the glue that really bonds the relationship. But if you can find it, you will find yourself incredibly happy and you and your partner will find your relationship is more fulfilling.
Your partner should inspire you to reach your potential
It is no secret that having a supportive and encouraging partner is desirable. But it is also beneficial for the future of the relationship. Relationships are not static events. Our relationships grow as time goes on and as we grow ourselves. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner should push each other to reach each other's potential. When you can do this, your relationship is more likely to reach its potential as well because the two of you continue to move forward independently, pushing your relationship forward.
This doesn’t mean either partner can expect the other to put their needs or desires on hold for the other one. Both partners need to balance their personal needs with how they also encourage their partner’s needs. Without an encouraging and supportive partner, you may feel like you shouldn’t or can’t make changes or made decisions for yourself that will help you achieve your goals. But in a healthy relationship, your accomplishments help you become a more well-rounded individual that will strengthen your bond with your partner when they are there cheering you on.
You should feel comfortable being yourself with your partner
My partner once told me that the thing he liked most about me was that he can be himself and doesn’t have to filter around me. I was incredibly honored to hear that. I pride myself on being accepting and trying my best to understand people as they are. My partner sharing this information with me meant he realized that about me and I made him feel comfortable being himself. Luckily, I am also able to be myself around my partner. Something that is so liberating when you haven’t previously experienced that.
When you are truly comfortable with and around your partner, you don’t worry about their judgment on what you say or do because you know they will accept you no matter what. Ultimately, if you want to have a successful relationship both partners must feel comfortable being themselves. We can only hide our true colors for so long before they start to show themselves. When we introduce our true selves to our partners from the beginning, we encourage them to do the same. By both of you being exactly who you are, the two of you can grow together knowing that there are no secrets looming on the horizon to poke holes in your bond.
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